That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You're a waste of cheezeits
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize