If i come over, it means nothing
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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