you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
