Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
