he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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