Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize