just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i came on her dog
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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