She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize