no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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