..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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