4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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