Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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