He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize