The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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