I'm going to jail i love you
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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