Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
we should paint friendship bongs
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
