i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
