ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
