Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
