He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
