If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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