did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
