omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
