we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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