Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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