Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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