Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
