So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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