In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize