I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
