My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
