Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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