Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
