I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize