i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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