feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
