just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
