C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
