Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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