Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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