the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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