There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
