i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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