Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
