Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
