i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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