Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
