Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
