My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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