I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Do you still have your period?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
