It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
