Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize