somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
