I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
