4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
