the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
