it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
