Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize