Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
