so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
