therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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