you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Can I color on your dick again?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
