we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
