I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
