are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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