i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
