Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
