No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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