her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
