It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Randomize
